1986 Toyota Camry- Cheap Car Challenge

It is genuinely amazing what was happening 30 years ago: the Berlin Wall was still up, Ronald Reagan was slipping slowly into dementia during his second term as president, and the Challenger Space Shuttle met its fateful assent into the heavens in late January.

A more trivial milestone was about to pass: the Toyota Camry was due for an upgrade. Hewitt-Packard employees everywhere rejoiced in the news, and in 1987 the 2nd generation of the venerable Camry was released. The United States demanded and Japan answered with, what is probably now the elders of our legend's recollection of: the classic Camry. It certainly lived up to the hype. From 1987-1992, the Camry won many accolades and was immensely successful. However, this was never a certainty, considering where it began less than a decade previously.

The Camry started out in life as part of Toyota's "Beta-test" proving-grounds: the Celica Model Line. The Celica-Camry was how it was introduced the first time to the market, and after a modicum of success, Toyota decided that in 1982, it deserved its own production run. But the first generation Camry was a mediocre car at best. Its styling was woeful, even for 1980s standards, and its performance was something to be desired as well. The 2-SFE petrol engine

Red spark plug wires add 20BHP

produced a meager 92 horsepower, and it wasn't what you'd call "lavishly equipped" either. Audiences of the Japanese market flocked by the thousands to the Honda dealership to take advantage of the stylish and equally (if not more-so) reliable Accord. A car which came in a far-greater variety of equipment and capacity levels. The mid-eighties Accord Coupe still attracts a wide audience amongst first-time car buyers and those desperately trying to cling to the pop-up headlamp glory days. The Camry didn't have pop-up headlamps, and at the end of the day, it looked like a toddler had gotten control of the styling pencil and a lazy Toyota designer had just stamped his approval on it anyway.

The first generation Camry was Toyota's iPod Shuffle: well marketed, but ultimately nothing special. Remarkably however, it was one of the few Toyotas of the time to not have the 2.4L 22R(E) engine. A famously reliable Toyota engine even for its time (which they put in everything), Toyota opted for a lower capacity 2.0L transversely-mounted 4 cylinder. But it is, perhaps, the only redeeming quality of the car now. It meant that, because the engine was mounted sideways, the car had to have electronic cooling fans (which were normally belt-driven), something which is perfectly everyday now, but definitely was unusual for 1982. It also came with a 4-speed automatic with overdrive, something that Volvo was still desperately trying to fathom in 1991 on its 700 series cars (which came with a 3-speed). Power steering was also standard equipment, which again seems ridiculous, but for the time, it was a huge selling point.

So why am I writing about it? I bought one.

Hideous, but it has the original Cassette Player! How could I not?

I picked it up in Maryland for just $750 from (wait for it) the original owner. In 30 years, it has gone 108,000 miles (and yes, the odometer works just fine), the suspension has completely collapsed, and the idle is about as rough as Donald Trump's moral compass, but it moves.

In the absence of Top Gear U.K. and in the spirit of their fabled "cheap car challenges" I have procured this "bucket of magnificence" (as Jeremy Clarkson would put it) with taxes and insurance for well under $1000.00. To see what it can do, and to see what my friends can do: the gauntlet has been lain, the die has been cast, and the bell has been rung: the limit is $800 my friends, a more modern car is well-within your reach, but dare you?

Over the course of the next year, I will be updating you all about the pitfalls, failures, and what will hopefully be: the triumphant winner of the 2016 Colorado Auto Weekly Cheap Car Challenge!

2002 Volvo V40- A Discussion of Modernity

If you're unaware (which you probably are, the 2002 V40 is an easily missable car), the V40 comes with a 1.9L 4Cyl. Turbo. It is front wheel drive, and my first car with an automatic that I've ever owned. I have had it for over a year, and despite what you may think: I absolutely love it. It's got a lot of amenities that I've never had before such as: dual stage heated seats, powered seats, traction control, headlamp wipers, and the general wagon platform... I've never owned one.

I haven't owned a front wheel drive car since 2006, but this one (which is ostensibly a Ford, the last front wheel drive car I owned by the way), is phenomenal! It has plowed through snow and seen itself through some of the toughest hail I can remember with minimal scarring. However, the clear coat on the hood and the roof is mostly gone, but that's cosmetic isn't it?

The low-pressure turbo kicks in nicely and it seems to get reasonable gas mileage for such a heavy car operating under a 4Cyl. turbo. But that brings me to the most important point: Whomever designed the fuel gauge "empty point" is a jackass. The fuel light comes on with 6 gallons left in the tank! So I'm constantly "running out of fuel," despite what my brain tells me, which is a stressor like you wouldn't believe.

Despite this problem, the car has never done me wrong. I know that by this stage in Volvo's history, this car was essentially a Ford Focus, however, I've been in one of those and it's not nearly as good. It doesn't look as nice, it handles differently, and it's not as refined or elegant. Volvo, for their part, did something with this car. Maybe it's the turbo itself, or maybe it's the leather interior, but this car seems special.

Like I say before, I've never owned an automatic before this one, however, it's reasonable. 5 speeds, Winter Button (which does... Something marvelous in the snow) and traction control, coupled with ABS, this car is impossible to crash in the snow or ice. I'm a firm believer in manual transmission cars and it hasn't changed, but this Volvo has done a damn fine job.

A lot of people have a downer on newer Volvos, and I did too before I checked this one out, but I think it's because we believe that there has been a fundamental shift in the engineering and design. On the surface, maybe that's more true, but maybe under the hood: it is far less obvious. The 1.9L engine in this car is fantastic, and the transmission is smooth, on point, and capable. For a wagon it corners just as well as you'd expect, and the amenities are all there, maybe with the exception of the satellite navigation, which honestly, should have been included with the initial price.

This brings me to the question: why is this car so cheap? You can pick up a used S40 or V40 for under $2400, and that's "excellent condition," according to KBB.com. Like I say, I've owned this car, which currently has 152K miles on it, for over a year, and there are no problems at all, besides the fuel gauge anomaly. No leaks, no indication that it is anything other than a brand new car out for its first drive.

I will say this: it is not the most attractive car, but it has a certain boxy-charm that is indicative of the Volvos of old, met with the demands of roundness of the 21st century: It is in keeping with the time that it was conceived.

Honestly, and this is going against every indication of "good" cars that I have: pick one up if you find one. You'll get a hell of a bargain and a great car as well. But be warned: the wipers are crap.

2013 Toyota Yaris

I would like to preface this rant by saying that there is only one reason that I have come back from an extended hiatus from this blog: I felt obligated to. Because I was recently rear-ended, a local car rental service dropped this pile of misery off at my house. It is computer paper white on the outside, and completely black on the inside. Think of it as a reverse Oreo, which sounds much better than anything this car could ever hope to be.

This is a public service message to the good people of Colorado.

You can call it "Max,"As in OfficeMax. (sorry OfficeMax)

The Toyota Yaris began its life mostly because Toyota engineers discovered that the Corolla isn't technically a "small" car anymore. So they were then given the rather daunting task of fitting 28 airbags into an economy car. It's been given more airbags than speakers, which is somewhat ironic, because usually an airbag deploys after the car is hit, which would normally require the car to have moved. This is an extremely hard thing for the Yaris to do, because it only has a 1.5L I4 engine fitted with a 4 speed (yes 4) automatic. You have to mash the throttle down in order to force the gerbils to power the engine, but by the time you get up to speed, you've missed the green light, so you're going to have to try again.

Then we come to the rather unfortunate part of the review where we must consider the mind of the man who actually arranged the interior. The first thing you'll notice, of course, is that the dashboard is centered, instead of directly in front of the driver. They did this to make the Yaris seem more "unique," I'm sure, but really when driving it, it's just annoying. Secondly they've given it A/C, power windows, power locks, and electric power steering; which all seems nice, but they've left out some important features:

• Coolant gauge
• Cruise control
• Powered mirrors

The lack of coolant gauge really threw me off. It's got a little light on the dash that comes on when you first start it, that indicates the engine is "Cool" but after that, there's nothing. Presumably, there is another light that says when the engine is "Hot," but what if that sensor fails? You won't know until the radiator cap bursts and then you're screwed. Which doesn't really make a whole lot of sense.

Enter Snoozeville 

Plus they've included a button for turning the traction control off, which also doesn't really make much sense. Why on Earth would you want to do that in a front wheel drive, 4 speed, automatic, economy car? You can have the odometer or the trip computer, but not both at the same time, and they've given it a rather vague fuel gauge which is hard to figure out. It is a system of horizontal bars, and when you get to the second-to-the-last bar on the gauge it's a normal bar, but once you hit the last bar, it starts flashing on and off. This is a worry because you don't actually know how long you have on the last bar. What is the bar/gallon figure? We just don't know. And there's no way to find out, either. So you immediately start to panic and trying to figure out where the nearest gas station is. I was on the last bar for 20 miles, but how much farther could I have gone?

They've also given it a TPS (Tire Pressure Sensor), which is great, but it came on while I was driving it, and then I realized immediately that it doesn't tell you which tire is low on pressure. I got out to look at the tires, and they all looked perfectly fine, so I just continued on. This is particularly annoying because if it's cold out, like it was at the time, I don't want to then have to pull over to check all four tires and see which one is low. It's cold. Go away, light.

They have also added a light on the dashboard to indicate that the lights are turned on, for whatever reason. Excuse me, but I KNOW when the lights are on, I turned them on! There are also two cup-holders on either side of the cabin for the front two occupants. However, they're located directly in front of the vents, which means that you have to make a choice between having warm/cool air, a warm/cool drink, or a warm/cool lap.

Really the biggest problem with the Yaris is that it doesn't seem to be particularly well-made. Unusual indeed for a company like Toyota, This car has been on the road now for about a year and already the weatherstripping around the windows is beginning to fade, which makes an awful lot of wind-noise while driving. Not to mention
the suspension seemed very incapable of handling the immense body-roll, surprising for a car this small.

Note the small battery which offers a cattle-prod like shock to the gerbils hidden underneath the manifold cover. 

The seat height can be adjusted, but if you're anywhere over 6', you're better off just driving from on top of the car, you'd certainly have a better view of the road. Which is another concern: the Yaris is extremely hard to park. You can't see out of the back very well, you can't see the front end of the car at all, and there is an enormous blind-spot on the driver's side. The viewing angles are truly terrible, and frankly a little dangerous, which may better explain the huge amount of airbags included as standard.

All in all, the Yaris is underpowered, completely nonsensical, and so dull that it may as well close down it's E-Harmony profile right now. Nobody is interested, and frankly I'm not the only one starting to chant: "jump! jump! jump!"


It really is then, the perfect rental car: I could not care less about it.

The Scion FR-S

If I may start this posting with an apology: I'm sorry for posting an awful lot about Toyotas. However, the FR-S from Scion is worthy of a post, and it will be the last Toyota car for a while, I promise. And technically, it's half Subaru anyway. Being that it's at least half Subaru, you can't truly call it a comeback for Toyota. Sure it's being sold at Toyota dealerships, but if they wanted to build a sports car again, you would've thought that they could have done it without the help of a competitor. However, after the better part of a decade, Toyota can now (sort of) offer a sports car! In the United States, at least for right now, Scion will be the company pedaling the car to you.

So, the big question: What is it like to drive?

Well, it's complicated because I don't want to say that it's "Just fantastic, end of story." That would be too obvious. So, I'll say it's a fantastic start. It's Toyota's first rear wheel drive sports car since the last Supra rolled off the line in 2002. With it's Subaru derived engine and transmission, the noise it makes is wonderful, and the clutch is feather light, which makes it a wonderful car to drive. The steering is precise, and it grips the road like nothing else in it's price bracket. And for a car with bucket seats, it's not uncomfortable either, at least in the front. The back seats are sort of a joke, and as one dealer suggested "[they] are only there for insurance purposes, and meant to be removed." Which would then make the Mazda RX-8 more practical if you could still buy a new one, but you can't.

The interior is not overly complicated, there's a pretty reasonable traction control system with an off button. There's a clock, and there's some cup holders that they obviously forgot about until the very last minute.

For $25,000 you could do worse. And that, I think, is the whole point of this car. It's relatively cheap. But is it really that cheap? Scion also offers the TC, a car that has been with us for a while now, and while it's not as visually striking to look at as the FR-S, it's only got 20 less horsepowers. And it's also $6,000 cheaper. They both have bucket seats, the same exact powered accessories, a 6 speed transmission, and the TC can even come with a sunroof. Something that the FR-S can't have! The main difference being, of course, that the TC is front wheel drive, and the FR-S is not. But in the real world, if all you want is a sporty Toyota, the smart person would have the TC because you could actually fit people into the back.

The TC is more economical, has the same suspension set up, has a bigger engine, and if you think that those 20 extra horsepowers will do anything: 0-60 times are only .3 of a second apart. Which means if you get off to a bad start, you've lost the race.

Overall then, the FR-S is a beautiful car, and you'd love to own one. But to be honest, it's a bit like an iPhone 4: you know in the back of your mind that Apple will release the 4S soon, so it's only going to be the cool thing for a little while. Which is a shame, because I really wanted Toyota to make an interesting car again; Something timeless, but this isn't it.

The 1985 Toyota Celica GT-S Liftback

When this car was built 27 years ago, the CD player was the epitome of luxury, the DVD was 10 years away from being conceived, and Blockbuster Video opened it's first ever store that October. This car certainly, is not anything new. This wasn't even the first Celica either, this is the Mk. III: the last of the rear wheel drive Celicas, which debuted in 1970. In 1986, Toyota switched to front wheel drive and continued on in that fashion until 2005, when the line was dropped completely.

But the Celica was an important leap in Toyota's history because it spawned some of the most influential cars for them over the years: The Camry and the Supra were both models of the Toyota Celica that later became their own lines. 1982 marked the first year the Camry was offered as it's own model, and 1986 marked the beginning of the Supra.

But this one, the '85 GT-S, what is it like now that it's a "classic?" Well for starters, it's a time machine, which is exactly what every classic car should be. Stepping into an 80's car is sort of like stepping into 80's pop culture, you can really get a sense of what was important and interesting at the time. This one is no exception. Pop a Van Halen cassette into the tape deck and you will be transported back to a time when your mom had big frizzy hair and Timothy Dalton was shooting Iranians for her majesty's secret service.

As for the car though: the interior is entirely brown, the wedge shaped body is very angular, and the ridiculousness of the amenities consumes the driving experience. Like the lumbar support on the driver's seat for example: It's operated by an air pump, and then adjusted where the lever to operate it should have been. It's really quite amazing, and it fits very easily to hand next to the stick shift. There are other 80s features as well: pop up headlamps at the front, metal louver (sunshade) at the back, and a digital clock right in front of you on the dashboard (something Chrysler still haven't heard of).

Open up the hood and you'll be greeted with a very familiar sight: the 22R-E engine. A staple for Toyota cars, trucks, and SUVs in one form or another, for almost 15 years. This was the biggest engine ever put into a Toyota Celica. At 2.4 liters, it produced 115 horsepower and while that doesn't sound like much, keep in mind that it only weighed 1 1/4 tons (assuming there was nobody fat inside). Couple that with an independent rear suspension, and a 5 speed manual transmission; and you will find that the ride is surprisingly smooth and pleasant compared with other cars of the decade. Which is why so many  of your parents bought it.

However, most surprising is why there are almost none of them left. The "Cash for Clunkers" scheme scrapped many great cars from, what might have been, long and purposeful lives. This car escaped unscathed, but many didn't. And now, unfortunately, we're left with only pictures and memories of what was once a very common-place sight on the road. But this does help me come back to my original point: what is this car like as a classic? Well it's a future classic. Not a traditional Nova or Mustang classic, but a new one. These are the Generation X classics. The cars our moms and dads had when they went off to build printers at HP or try to cope with something called "Regan-omics." In a time when iPhones weren't necessary to take orders at restaurants and hair metal was still in it's heyday.

Bring it to a dealership or into a shop and you'll be greeted as a hero, a legend of time travel who has come in with an interesting car. Not some eco-box that needs a new battery pack. At least that's the experience I had when I took it to the local Toyota dealer this afternoon. I imagine they get quite bored with all the Corolla's and Prius's.

It therefore ticks all the classic car boxes: Parts are getting hard to find and unreasonably expensive, it's interesting, a period piece, and it can still turn heads.

The Mk. IV Celica is considered to be the "best," because it's more powerful. But to be honest, it doesn't look as good, and it isn't as interesting. Plus it has front wheel drive and that's kind of BORING. This one doesn't and you can believe me that I'll be having a lot more fun power sliding and skidding about than if I had a fourth gen.

This brings me to my final, and most important point: just because something is old doesn't make it completely worthless. We have a way in this great society of ours to ditch older products, and indeed people, once something newer and flashier comes along. I for one would much rather have something old and interesting like this that works, versus something newer and boring that doesn't. Toyota didn't design this car to live this long, but it does. And that's worth saving.

Update and News

Hi all,

So, as many of you have probably noticed, this "Weekly" publication hasn't been updated in a long time. There are many good reasons for this. Among them are my health, work, and living situations. But most of those are dealt with now. So, this summer, prepare to be amazed and baffled by the sheer volume of posts streaming forth from this blog.

I never got around to tackling the Fiat 500 as promised and that will be the first to come when things settle down a bit, I promise.

Further down the line, I'll be tackling the new Buick turbo and will probably see what all the fuss is about with regards to the new Scion iQ.

Thank you for your patronage and patience. You will be rewarded with a better blog soon.

-Travis

The Chrysler 200 Convertible: A Culmination of Every Rental Car You've Ever Been in

This is the all new Chrysler 200 convertible, and it sort of picks up where the old Sebring left off. Styling wise, it's more of the same from Chrysler. Overly chromed, overly plastic-ed and over all, very unappealing. Perfect for grandma and grandpa! So what in God's holy name is Eminem doing behind the wheel? The advert says: 'Imported from Detroit' and that sickening feeling you had after you read that isn't going to go away any time soon. I'm all for Chrysler reinventing themselves, but this car is a far cry away from anything new from the company that seems perpetually cursed to produce anything more than a car 5 years behind current innovations and trends. Which helps to explain Eminem's appearance in the first place. The ad and the car itself are geared towards today's 'hip youngsters,' as I'm sure a Mr. Burns-esque board member at Chrysler calls anyone under 50. As one, I figured I would at least humor them and take it out for a spin.

Back in my day, clocks had hands! 

Far from being moderately “whelmed,” the first thing I noticed as I stepped into the 200 was the enormously oversized air vents on either side of the front cabin. Had they been square, they would've been the exact size of the computer screen in the center console. The good news is that you can still get a brand new car with an analog clock. Something grandma will appreciate, no doubt. But I'm afraid these are the least of it's problems. The convertible version starts at $26,575, which is a lot for a car that doesn't even seat 5. For that price, you get a 173hp inline 4 cylinder engine. Or for about $5,000 more you can get one with an unreasonably large 3.6l V6 which develops 283hp. Both get 29mpg highway for some reason, so you have to wonder why they didn't make the base model a bit more fuel efficient. All three trim levels come with the same 6-speed automatic transmission, which is kind of silly, but I don't know why I was surprised. This was cutting edge stuff 5 years ago.

Outside the car, the stance it has is it's biggest failing in my book. It's way too high off the ground for a “sporty” convertible. However, it all becomes much clearer after you remember that this is a Chrysler and grandpa's got that hip replacement surgery next week. Making, of course, the extra height a necessity for his decrease in mobility. But it's not like you'll be forgetting this is a Chrysler, it's poorly styled front end screams Chrysler about as loud as your crochity old neighbor next door yells at kids to keep off his lawn. And with the top up, it is about as appealing as an overripe banana that's been left out in the sun. Perhaps that's why they haven't included any pictures of it this way on Chrysler's website.

I suppose at this point you'll expect me to talk about handling, but to be honest I'd rather not. The steering is vague and unresponsive like most Chryslers and the suspension is too soft to be in the 'sport convertible' category. It would appear that Chrysler is just trying to half-heartedly compete with the Cadillac CTS-V; by trying to make the swing from borderline luxury to borderline sports car. Needless to say, only Cadillac remains successful. If Chrysler wants to rebrand themselves successfully, they're going to have to beat the CTS-V, and badly. However, the 300's review should wait for another time.

Mostly my feelings about the 200 and Chrysler's recent make-over reflect that of disappointment. I wanted Chrysler to bounce back and bring some pride to, not only Detroit, but to the United States's failing auto industry. However, in order to “bounce back,” that would imply that they ever made anything good in the first place. The sad fact of the matter is that Chrysler now only makes three cars: the 200, 300, and the Town & Country mini-van. They have, of course, put the PT Cruiser and the Sebring's part of it's dismal history to rest. However, with the memory of them ringing all too prevalently in the 200's DNA it makes me think that the only thing good to come out of Detroit this year will be the Lions. A sentence I never thought I'd get to say in my lifetime.